# Shutting Up and Listening

I got called out for mansplaining the other day. It didn't feel like I was mansplaining as I wrote it, but I know that what I posted upset someone enough that they replied in anger.

A lot of me wanted to explain myself - my reasoning for saying what I did, but then I read what I'd written and, yeah, through a certain lens, I could absolutely see how what I'd written could be taken that way.

My defenses were still up. It felt like this person who didn't know me had cast my comment in the least charitable light possible. Then I thought some more about it. Why should she give an internet stranger the benefit of the doubt?

I thought about clarifying my comment, and my reasoning behind it (again) but I figured that wouldn't do anything to make things better. So in the end, I apologized. I acknowledged that the comment was thoughtless, which it was. If I'd been thinking, I would have either been more clear with my meaning, or better yet, I wouldn't have written anything at all.

I thanked the person who called me out because it can be hard to stand up to someone who you don't know. And I said I would do better. Which I will. I'll be less likely to jump into comment threads, and when I do, I'll make sure that I'm clear. But for the most part, I'll just shut up and listen.

Liam